ReductoAbsurdum

“Heya fatso! Let’s go and clear the snow already!” My horrible cousin yelled out to me as she was grabbing her red and white, puffy snow boots. It was so crazy that someone so bratty could say something that made my heart race so much. I was dirty, so dirty-minded that I could be insulted and love it. I was about to truly satiate my sinful desires by stuffing myself so much. Still, on the outside we were doing such a menial task: clearing the snow from the driveway. “Hey, snow shovel, hurry up!!” The girl shut the front door. I stood there in silence. My heart was racing. My legs were weak. My belly gurgled. It knew what was about to happen to it. —— Basically, I was there for the weekend. My mom, dad, uncle and his wife were out together celebrating an adults only, Christmas Eve’s Eve. Whatever they do, it doesn’t involve their children and Grandma. For some reason, statuses such as just graduating the senior year of high school and being in the senior years of life somehow don’t account for adulthood. And with the fact that my uncle’s manipulative child, Tania, was only seven years old, the three of us were going to have a girls night. But it was kind of a lame girl’s night. Grandma took naps, played the piano and occasionally baked a yummy treat— well, yummy treats are something I love too much for it to matter. I loved food in general. Specifically, eating it. Specifically-er, eating way too much. And my body was proof. I was pushing 5’ 5” and, with my last big meal where I visited an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant (a gift from my parents), reached 342.3467238701 lbs. Yes. I keep track of my weight to the ten-millionth place. The point is, I’m fat. I had my biggest amount of weight gained this whole year, so my uncle was definitely surprised when seeing me. Tania, especially. Her first words, when meeting for the first time in a while, were “Hey… Laynie. How much can you fit in your massive stomach?” That definitely set the scene silent for a few seconds. Luckily it was broken by a light-hearted, “She ate the neighbors’ dog the other day. She’s a big girl!” Of course, everyone laughed but loved it a bit too much. My parents didn’t seem to really think or care about my weight gain. Whenever I asked my mom and dad for bigger meals they said ok. Sometimes my mom would catch me on the floor stuffed with leftovers at midnight and would just tell me to clean up when I finished. When my appetite started getting big, when me and my dad would go to the store for groceries I’d stick a half gallon tub of ice cream or a dozen donuts in the shopping cart and he would just laugh. I had them to rely on with my weight gain journey. Tania, on the other hand, made fun of me and my chub. She’d pull my shirt up to expose my belly at the dinner table. She’d smack my fat, wide ass and grab my full boobs through my clothes at least every hour. She’d randomly shove a treat into my mouth jeering, “Melissa’s a chubster!” It was funny at first and I played along but it did annoy me a bit. However, after I brought the issue up with my parents they told me to let it go because she was just a kid and, the more I thought about it, I did. So now we find ourselves back at our original situation. I had put on snow black and pink pants and shoes as Tania ran out the front door. I was wearing a long sleeved Christmas tee and was just about to cover when the girl barged back in. “You don’t need that,” said Tania, “you remember your new name?” I looked at her confused. “Snow shovel! Your name is, snow shovel. And why are you names snow shovel?” “B-because,” I blushed and closed my eyes, “I’m about to clear the driveway of snow!” Tania patted my bent down head, “Good job. Now, snow shovel doesn’t want to have a big heavy jacket on if she wants to maximize her space for holding snow, does she?” “Of c-course not!” She had me walking towards the door, her behind me pushing my rear, “Then let’s go! Bye Grandma! We’ll see you in a bit!” Grandma yelled from the kitchen, “Be safe you two! Come have hot chocolate when you’re done so you can warm up!” “We will!” —— We opened the door and saw a clear, blue sky. It had snowed the night before so it was somewhat powdery but the sun was compacting it together throughout the morning. It was probably at a good 5 inches in height and it shone brightly against the solar light. It was untouched and perfect. I stood on the porch, taking in all of the snow’s beauty. “It’s so pretty…” Suddenly, I was pushed forward by Tania and lost my balance, landing in the snow. She bellowed, “Get to work already, snow shovel!” It was already happening. The snow soaked into my Christmas tee but I couldn’t tell if it was freezing or not. With all the oxytocin and adrenaline running through my veins, I was too hot to notice. I picked myself and stood on all fours. My belly jiggled as it touched the snow. “Take a bite! Clean up the driveway!” I licked my lips and exhaled. I lowered my head, like a cow does to take a bite of grass. I made my mouth as wide as it could. And I took a bite. That was the first cold I felt. As it touched my cheeks, the snow in my mouth and the snow that was stuck on the outside, it melted and dripped down my face and onto my neck. That was the first bite of snow. “Snow shovel! Take another bite!” With her foot, she shoved my face back into the snow. I let out a groan. I took another bite of the frozen water. And another. And another. Another another another another another another another AND another. Maybe it was the fact that it had no taste. I was used to feeling flavor fatigue from my many stuffings before and those would stop a lot of magnificent streaks. Maybe it was the fact that it had no calories so, I wasn’t really making my body work other than having to heat the ice in my stomach. Or maybe… it was Tanya. She was forcing me to go at an incredible speed. She only gave me time to take one breath after every five bites. Her foot, controlling most of the operation, pushed my head down and let it up. And she was unwittingly saying the hottest things that pushed me further. “Just swallow. It’s not possible for you, snow shovel, to do anything other than that.” “I can’t believe that snow shovel is able to walk or, really, a human like you for that matter. “Snow shovel! You hear me? Keep going! A true snow shovel shouldn’t take time to breathe.” My stomach had been filling up with the snow and it was starting to show. As it reached about half way full the chub of my belly was pressing into the snow even when I was at the very top height of being on my fours. And Tania was still going strong. I, on the other hand, was starting to slow down. —— I could eat a ton. It wasn’t like I had the perfect genes passed down from the perfect specimen. Still, I could possibly rival many top eaters in the world. I had an average teenage metabolism (which was why I gained weight at a pretty good pace) but my stomach’s capacity was the true thing that shined. And, when reaching a little less than halfway through the driveway snow, said stomach capacity was reaching its top. I could fit more but I needed to pause. My stomach could only shine for so long. It was just Tania that I had to convince. I picked my head up to speak but my body hadn’t been ready for me to talk, “…” “What are you doing, snow shovel? Get back to work!” Tania took to her role well. Still on my fours, I shook my head. “You’re too full, snow shovel?” I let out a cold burp. “Hmm… we still have so much to go… well, I guess you could take a rest.” Lazily smiling I fell to my side. My tongue was out to the side like a dog and my mouth was open, trying to make burps escape my lips easier. “Full…” the only word that escaped my lips. Yep. I was in the “lay off physical activity for a little while or else you might tear” mode. I had no idea how I was going to finish the rest but that was a problem that 10-minutes-in-the-future me would have to deal with. Right then was the time to tend to my cold, full belly. My belly actually felt cool to the touch. Instead of it being the chubby, warm, fluffiness that it had been 30 minutes ago, it was a taut snowball. And, boy, it was lowering my body temperature as well. If I didn’t focus I’d find my teeth chattering. I probably needed to go inside soon. My rest time flew by, “Hey, get up. I have an idea” I heaved myself to my feet and felt the weight of my belly in full. It was very hard to stand up straight even with all of the counter-weight on my backside. “We,” the bossy girl started, “are about to make a snowman!” Tania pushed me onto my knees and pointed at the rest of the driveway snow. Back to work, although, it’s relatively better work compared to what I was doing before. Not that I minded overstuffing myself. It was hard to even start the snowman. My belly sloshed every time I moved and it always put a strain on my stomach. Ooh I loved the pain. The physical pain from my taut tummy. The physical pain from getting kicked around by Tania. I thought becoming a feedee/gainer made me a masochist. Again, I didn’t mind it. But maybe that was the masochist speaking. It took everything in me to haul the massive snowballs on top of each other but, as I finished, I couldn’t help but feel proud given my physical state. “Now, eat it.” Those words made my eyes widen. What a deviously smart brat. It was hard to believe that she was just doing this for fun now. She seemed to know all too well that the things she had me do would have me angry at her. Of course, stuffing myself wasn’t the angering part but it was the fact that she, so easily, had me wrapped around her finger. With a face as red as Rudolph’s nose, I obliged. As I sunk my teeth into the snowman’s packed shoulder my body was really starting to shiver. Hours had passed since we first came outside and so did the clouds; all of them were now in front of the sun. It didn’t help that my stomach was filled with ice and freezing water. Grandma’s hot cocoa was really starting to sound good now. My legs gave out after I’d gotten down to the snowman’s rib cage area. I was starting to feel ill. “Snow shovel? What are you doing?” Tania put her wooly mitten hands on her hips. I moaned and shook my head. I was so cold and full that I couldn't do anything else. “Eat.” She pulled my head into the snowman. I opened my mouth. That was it. My body didn’t want it to close. “Eat!” Tania became more annoyed and pushed me into the snowman. It was knocked over and I fell along with it onto my side. I groaned again. Now, completely frustrated that I wasn’t listening to her commands, she propped my obese body up on the bottom snowman ball, “If you don’t do it, I’m going to have to finish this job myself.” She pulled my wet shirt off, exposing my big breasts and flabby arms, not to mention my red belly. It was red from the sheer volume of precipitation in my stomach. It was red from the cold. My face was red from the cold. My face was red from being perpetually out of breath. However, it wasn’t red from being embarrassed that my top half was exposed. I was red from, against my morals, against my dignity, against what every good fiber in my body told me, I loved it. It hurt. But. I. Loved. It. After that it got hazy. I remember flurries of blue and white. The blue was the actual snow shovel and the white, well, you already know what that was. Looking back on it, it seems that she was shoveling snow from the driveway and jamming part of the shovel into my mouth. Some of it fell onto my exposed hips. Most of it fell onto my stomach. There was a good amount that made it into my mouth and down my throat but after a certain amount of time I’d spit up a bit of the snow. Shovel in the snow. Heave a bit up. Shovel in the snow. Heave a bit up. Shovel in. Heave a bit. Shovel. Heave. Shovel... First it was me just heaving up water. Then it was an ice water slush. By the end of this chaos I had been heaving up the snow. My body temperature was dangerously low. Finally, Tania was tired. My stomach had THE four prominent stretch marks that could only be seen when a feedee battled the strongest of meals. One tan across the top, the other, presumably, from the bottom, and two ran across the sides. They all met at the, now, outie of a belly button. She ran her fingers along the stretch marks. Even that hurt. “You weren’t able to get even close to clearing the driveway,” Tania started packing a snowball, “Guess, snow shovel wasn’t a very fitting name.” I opened my mouth for a burp. Nothing came out. I was too full for even a belch. “Here, stand up.” I didn’t budge. I couldn’t. “Ugh, worthless.” She tossed the snowball up into the air and caught it. I was glad that, for the first time this whole day, she was entertaining herself. She ran around for a bit and I watched. Both of my legs were so far out to let my gut rest on the ground. They were almost in a split, which was funny because I was the least flexible person in my family, if not, the world. I could barely lift my arms to help rub my swollen tummy. My brain was so clouded that I didn’t know if it hurt or not. Tania ran up to me after a couple minutes passed. She set a medium sized snowball and set it on my stomach. “Hehe… a fat snowman.” She jeered at my snow boulder of a stomach. But I didn’t respond. I was so cold and tolled that nothing moved. I was passed out and I didn’t even know it. —— When I came to I found myself in four or so layers of sweaters and sweatpants. Of course, my stomach was overfilled with water and couldn’t fit in the sweaters so, draped over it were a few baby quilts. Still reclined back to not put pressure on my tummy, I reached to pull the quilts off to check on it. It had shrunk down. Not a ton. It still had the two stretch marks on the side and the popped out belly button but, I was relieved of the ones on the top and bottom. I relaxed as I set the quilts back on nicely. “How’s my crochet-work?” My Grandma’s voice came from across the table. “It’s-urp-really warm.” And so was the warm smile she gave upon hearing that. She stood from her seat and called Tania into the room. “What do you tell Melissa?” She said in a stern voice. Melissa looked at her feet, “I’m sorry.” “I-it’s fii-ouurRRP!” Grandma’s eyes widened. Tania became startled. I blushed in embarrassment. “If that isn’t an indication that it’s NOT fine to force feed your cousin snow, I don’t know what is.” She chuckled, “Instead, you need to have the right stuff.” She gestured Tania out of the room and went into the kitchen. When she came back in, I realized why my fat butt was feeling so snug. It was in a dining room chair. “You really need to get your internal body temperature up AND it needs to be up with FOOD not water.” Grandma set my meal on the table and left the room to play a song on the piano. There before me was a hearty meal of steak, mashed potatoes, chicken stew, chicken parmesan with pasta, a warm fruit cake and a mug of thick hot cocoa. At first, I was frightened. No. More food sounded almost demonic. However, the more I thought about it, the more I decided that it was fine. My stomach had died down, maybe, not enough for this type of meal but somehow I’d get through it. It wasn’t like I was stuffed with solids, the meal could just swim around. Still, it would take up more space. Before I could think much more I took a bite of the hot feast before me. And it tasted and felt so good. I must’ve taken forever to finish that meal. My organs were being pushed on as I took every bite. The stretch marks reappeared. It throbbed with every chew. But with the heat of the fireplace, the fluffy quilts that covered my massive, wide stomach (I had to bend forward and let it dangle towards the ground, my popped out belly button brushed against the floor), and the sound of my Grandma playing Christmas songs traveling throughout the house… I never had a meal that felt so warm.